Review Rewind: The Real Housewives of New York City Season 4

B- /7

Well, there we were again, with the “Real Housewives” back in the Big Apple and ready for a new batch of travels, battles, and breakdowns. Over the off-season, the series lost perhaps its most captivating figure in Bethenny Frankel, but quickly picked up a new castmate, Cindy Barshop, who can only be described as an attempted replacement for Bethenny’s biting, brash, omnipresent brunette. Change was clearly the motto for this season’s women, as they showed off their newfound happiness and attitude adjustments like Jimmy Choos for a night on the town — the very length of that attempted change. The women clearly haven’t forgotten the catty squabblers or the melodramatic thespians they were last year, but their journey to do so this season makes for both compelling introspection and boring viewing.  

Review Rewind: The Real Housewives of Washington D.C. Series Premiere

C+   /7

After four hugely successful renditions of its play off the Desperate Housewives empire, Bravo decided to move its Real Housewives franchise to the most powerful city in the U.S.A. — Washington D.C. Bravo really couldn’t have picked a better setting for the “reality” show. D.C. has always been known for its political power, proximity to the center of America’s brain, and prestige that leads to a lifetime of material wealth — the perfect place for some high-octane, classy drama, right? Though four of the five women have a historic run in the District, and all are opinionated enough to silence Rush Limbaugh himself, D.C.’s bustling cityscape often draws attention away from the five heavy-hitting socialites involved.

Review Rewind: The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 2 Finale

B-  /7

Alright, so I was a month late to leave the most ridiculous and no-holds-barred Housewives party of the year. Sue me. But you’ll have to get behind Danielle and her entourage first.

A season that seemed scripted in many ways (Who goes to say “hi” to someone who makes her react like a rubber ball elastically strung to a plastic paddle? I guess Teresa does. She’s very nice to do that.) was also a season that continues to prove that the (upper-class, white, assumedly Catholic, etc.) housewives of New Jersey are both stringently focused on family and unafraid to avoid politeness. Sans the reunion special, the finale proved to be Danielle’s final appearance on Housewives’ cameras and it shoved in our faces the divide that continues to persist between the two “families” of the show. This consistent attraction to family, unfortunately though, sacrifices and shrinks the extravagant drama over which we’ve been salivating this season.

Throughout the finale frequent flashes of familial events pop up to remind us of what keeps these women connected. After an extravagant trip to Italy, the Giudices get together with the Caroline and Jacqueline branches of the Manzo family. The women discuss the Danielle-Ashley affair, continually reminding themselves of why Danielle is such a horrible person and why Caroline, the unofficial Mafiosa of the Manzos according to Danielle, must arrange a meeting with the woman of their ire. Reaction shots of all the Manzos present at the dinner while the discussion takes place lead us to believe that every member of the family is engrossed in an unofficial battle.

Review Rewind: The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 2 Premiere

B- /7

If there’s a way to refine trash, then the Real Housewives of… franchise has figured out a way to do it. We all have a guilty pleasure, something that we’re not entirely proud to claim as viewed but something off of which we scopophilic addicts can’t peel our eyes. When viewing or listening to or reading any form of media — film, television, music, books, etc. — my analytical cap is snug on my head. So, when I first stumbled upon this cult franchise a year ago with the Real Housewives of New York City series, I labeled it a wonderful sociological study of perceptions of middle-aged, upper-class, mostly white women, but also their thought processes in social relationships and situations, all over the U.S.A. Well, NYC‘s season had to end sometime, which is when New Jersey premiered.

Each franchise is fascinating because (1) each has an ensemble cast that, much to the cast members’ approval, sheds light onto all in the exclusive members of the Housewives club, and (2) each has a unique tone (the polished but b**chy banter of NYC, the southern faux-hospitable aggression of Atlanta, etc.). So far, the only series I have been unable to bear is Orange County. There’s a difference between watching refined trash and losing brain cells: in the former, one willingly accepts the lack of “high culture” immediately and abandons it, allowing the overwhelming stink of the show to pull out the attachment (or desire not to be a part of the chaos); in the latter, the plot is too simple and the “characters” too static to care about or bother following (when the botox seems to be blocking sparks between neurons, it’s too much). Orange County is basically the latter. New Jersey, though, walks a very fine line between NYC and Orange County. Thankfully, it leans slightly closer to the “Big Apple” than the “Plastic Orange.”

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (from right to left, Danielle Staub, Teresa Giudice, Dina Manzo, Caroline Manzo, and Jaqueline Laurita): Pigs or People?

In its first season, New Jersey, more or less, provided 5 characters — older sister Caroline Manzo, younger sister Dina Manzo, sister-in-law Jaqueline Laurita-Manzo, Teresa Giudice, the Manzo family’s close friend, and Danielle Staub, the “outsider” of the series — with overdoses and combos of passionately protective, calmly logical, fun-loving and passive, idiotically unaware, and creepily possessive. After a season of familial pressures, shouting matches, and infamous table-flipping drama, I thought it couldn’t get any more fascinatingly dramatic or more (un)realistic a presentation of Italian-American women. Astoundingly, it seems to be changing my mind.

Review Rewind: House Season 6 Finale

B+  /7

Dr. Gregory House has become the new standard for “man with an icy cold heart of gold,” a modern and less malicious reinvention of the archetype trademarked by the Devil. Selfish intent and apathy still control him, but the complex layers of his personality have begun to crumple, unearthing a man who so badly desires what all other (inferior) humans want — love. Like his real-life counterpart, American Idol‘s snappy and snarky judge — or should I say, life force — Simon Cowell, House has changed this year. Sure, the “heart of gold” is wondrous to glimpse and more likely to imagine even exists, but to dissipate the cold, metallic armor, someone has to warm it up, to halve it first.

Review Rewind: Saving Grace Season 2

A /7

As the dark smoke clears from the whirling, withering tornado in the opening credits of Saving Grace, there appears a soul with an even darker aura: Oklahoma City Police Detective Grace Hanadarko. Throughout the entire first season, Grace’s bright soul clashed with her dark aura; and this season, it continues (after all, the series did a phenomenal job developing a “real” and torn character to consistently pierce critic’s pleas for “real” women faster than a bullet fired from Ms. Hanadarko’s assured gun). Her personal life is still the oil to the water of her professional one, but it’s a much more diluted oil–or, possibly, a much denser water.

Review Rewind: Samantha Who? Season 1

B /7

Freshmen sitcoms are about as sure a success as, well, a 15-year old freshman playing starting quarterback on the varsity football team. In other words, they’re not that reliable a hit. However, it certainly helps a show’s popularity when the star of the show is a veteran, critically acclaimed actress. Samantha Who? is one these freshmen sitcoms and its star is none other than comedy mainstay Christina Applegate. While Who? is far from a sure-fire hit, Applegate makes a exceptionally compelling case that, as the show grows, she could just become a modern-day Lucille Ball.